Relapsing suppressed memories is not a tactic that should be encouraged. Relapse brings with it bad connotations when it comes to any addiction. The mind naturally forms a barrier between that which was/is destructive and that which would promote its adaptation, health, and well being. By encouraging a resurgence of an experience that the mind has suppressed, it encourages what was once a bad experience into twice the worse experience. Who’s to say the original experience was interpreted correctly by our limited understanding or viewpoint. For instance, we may interpret our past by context of the present, we may not appreciate the context in which it was set. Today, it could be said that I lived in poverty and being poor when I was little has made me feel more entitled and accuse my parents of neglect. Depression and anxiety are the usual result of looking back at what we’ve plowed with regret and remorse.
When I travel in the Middle East, those who know me as a Christian can either judge me on my present disposition or judge me as a member of religious fanatics responsible for the Crusades. On the occasion someone finds out I am a Gulf War veteran, they can conclude that I am not a person who is anti-Muslim, or that I am a person whose past is removed from him and respectful of all Muslims and sympathetic toward their culture. I would expect anybody to judge me on what I am presently and not on the basis of anything in the past.
The past is best left out of the present and future. Grappling with it can lead to the greatest depression if not resolved properly. Those who meditate in the way of Eastern mysticism and believe in reincarnation MUST force themselves to try to rectify their past with their present condition for future benefit. It is a constant state of guilt, contrition, and agonizingly brutal debasement in their attempts to make them worthy of an elevated afterlife. Some Christians I know have so far removed themselves from the present by delving into their past, they feel they have to work through a strict system of laws to atone for the sins they feel has made them unworthy of salvation. On the other side, some Christians continue living in unrepentant sin, hurting others around them, feeling God will forgive, yet they are guilty of transgressions they will never resolve without the proper repentance. I know you know the kinds of people of whom I speak—they are hypocrites.
You see, plastering over our past is our mind’s best defense and shield that naturally occurs when we have been hurt. It is like a defensive wall where isolation from the effects of the trauma can be allowed to die. Taking the wall down is like opening up a window for light to come in and after being attended to our pain can resurface and what was dead can be allowed to grow. From there, the greater effects of the pain which is translated sometimes wrongfully into the present enters our lives and the lives of others and we feel worse.
The greatest result of counseling is to bring peace, yet most counselors bring conflict and isolation to the wrong areas of our lives separating us from where true peace can be found. True peace is found in forgiveness. It is found in acceptance. It is found in overcoming. The greatest threat to depression is to feel no regret for the past, be resolved with the present, and live the future as if it were present—meaning I live by the virtues of love. This is what we together have said about love. Love keeps no records of wrongs. It thinks the best, does the best, and has the best interest and high good in mind for the other. That way, in the future we have less of a chance of being condemned by guilt.
In the VA, there is no end to diagnoses of mental illness, most prevalent is PTSD. I have chosen to suppress the images that I retain in my mind as a result of what I witnessed during the Gulf War. I only consider that a vital and meaningful part of my life. It was a part of my life that to me was a different life. Some today live in the guilt of their past, mostly encouraged by others who recommend or set expectations that they “feel” a certain way and before long they believe it. The symptoms of depression are easily applied to them and through very little convincing evidence, a person can believe they are doomed to a condition from their past that they should have no business believing.
Why can’t we just cut off the past and after severing the root allow it to die? Well, it’s because we struggle with guilt and we struggle with unresolved accusations against us created by what we feel are from others and most damagingly—ourselves. Our character today—this day—should not be manipulated by the events of the past.
In the Bible, there is a parable about cleaning one’s house. It has to do with how we clean our minds and hearts. Sometimes when we clean out what we feel is unclean, we can open ourselves up to a worse fate. Temptation to sin acts the same way—it wipes away the guilt of our past by thinking a future act will be satisfying and in our fantasy overlook the pain of the past and open ourselves up to sin of a greater magnitude. The more we do that, the less we feel remorse and the less we feel remorse, the farther we are from true healing.
When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he roams through waterless places in search of rest; and finding none, he says, “I will return to my house which I left.” And when he has come to it, he finds the place swept and clean. Then he goes and takes seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter in and dwell there; and the last state of that man becomes worse that the first (Lk 11:24-25).
Care must be taken that we do not give an opportunity for greater damage to ourselves and others when a right end resulting in love, forgiveness, and peace are not the end game.
Another parable in the Bible has to do with a strong man guarding his house.
When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed. But when someone stronger than he attacks him and overpowers him, he takes away from him all his armor on which he had relied and distributes his plunder. (Luke 11:21, 22)
When the strong man’s armor is reduced, the affects of the stronger man to overtake him are greater.
I hope this makes a bit of sense. Your past is part of the canvas of your life’s portrait. Understanding how painting works, it is the darker background that brings out the brightness of a foreground and brighter your life will be by not mingling the dark with your brilliant radiance.
